7 Cast of Characters

Who are all these people, anyway? Here’s a list of the dramatis personae:

Anna H. Banana
An aged German shepherd, deceased mid-2008

Bartleby
My secretary, mercifully now former

La Bethulia  
Partner to La Maya; a psychiatric professional 

Biker Boob
The tattooed fright who lives next door to Pretty Daughter (see below); given to allowing his unmuffled vehicles to idle in the driveway for ten to twenty minutes before blasting off at high volume

Cassie
A Corgi, late a resident of the dog pound

The Copyeditor’s Desk
Funny about Money’s other incarnation

Dave 
The affable neighbor across the street, proprietor of Dave’s Used Car Lot, Marina, and Weed Arboretum; now also former.

Her Deanship 
My immediate boss

La Maya 
A colleague at the Great Desert University who happens to live around the corner from me

M’hijito 
My son, a thirtyish refugee from San Francisco’s dot-com bust, now stuck in the lowlands of the Sonoran Desert

Mr. B***
A crazed neighbor and former rental property emperor; a.k.a. The Perp, who threw about three gallons of used motor oil over the back wall into my swimming pool

OBE
Our Beloved Employer, a sobriquet for The Great Desert University 

Other Daughter 
One of Mr. B***’s daughters, living two doors down from me, on disability because of her mental illness

Pretty Daughter
Mr. B***’s professed favorite daughter, who lives catty-corner across the street from me with her two kids, both just bursting into their teens

The Kid  
A talented, bright, incredibly well organized, and hard-working young woman who serves as my associate editor at the Great Desert University. AKA Tina (below) 

The Raven
President of the Great Desert University, admired in some quarters and abominated in others

Satan and Proserpine
Former owners of my present abode. Inveterate do-it-yourselfers, these worthies left the house with cosmetically attractive improvements hiding a maze of not-to-code lash-ups, lied blithely to cover up the results of their DIY efforts, and ripped off the waterfall showerhead before they left. It took two licensed electricians six hours of steady work to make the wiring in the house safe. That was just the beginning…

SDXB
Semi-Demi-Exboyfriend, now Sun City’s most athletic citizen

The Son-in-Law
Other Daughter’s husband, a paranoid schizophrenic she brought home after a lengthy absence; occasionally goes off his meds and creates some neighborhood drama

Tina
My associate editor and business partner in a side venture